14 April 2006

April 14th, 2006 by firearcher

I feel that I have fallen

            From a cliff            a shelf           a mountain

            A place highly imagined

And I am bruised where I removed a chink of armor to let the sun warm my skin.

I am remembering the feelings of feeling

            A place far away when time took forever and expectation held weight

                        Where music wept and rust ran into silver

                        Where kisses lasted forever and branded genetic make-up

                                    A place where colors were things

I am unbecoming to reach becoming

It feels too slow with sunrays frozen sliding sideways into a box of old letters

A heap of used Band-Aids burning on a nightstand at a cheap motel

            Paint raining on Pollack sidewalks

                        Taught to color INSIDE THE LINES IN ONE DIRECTION

I am emerging from the box

            Outside the box

                        On top of the box and screaming.

14 April 2006

Morgantown

,

WV

30 October 2005

October 30th, 2005 by firearcher

Today I reread Riders to the Sea, and I could see the play in my mind moving.
When the two sisters knew finnally that their brother was dead, my eyes filled with tears. I could see their facial expression; I could hear their thoughts. Now I have to make a groundplan for Jerry’s class.

I went to a Halloween party last night dressed as the day after prom.

I shaved my head last week and I’m contemplating getting my first tattoo. No pictures, just words: "ART IS SHAPELY. MIND IS SHAPELY."

Let’s Break Things To Feel Better

October 23rd, 2005 by firearcher

Apathetic. Yawn. This calmness could shatter. I’m accomplishing nothing tonight.
I need to renew. I want to sit in a scalding hot bath with a glass of wine, and stare into a candle flame while thelonius monk gets busy. I feel lonely lately. Do men have biological clocks? I want to be in love.

Beautiful People

October 23rd, 2005 by firearcher

My head is lead weight in the pillowEyes transfixed with swirls in the darknessHair soaked in the wanting pool of sleepWater trickles from the eavesAnd dives like a parachute changing shape	Punctured/AcceleratingDown to the dying grass to be obscured by leaves abandoned by tree limbs that are too too tired.
Atlas SighsSnaps his fingersAnd hums a blues riff
The world shutters on as always on its invisible yo yo string
Sigh	Yawn		Slow Trickle Dive
Sigh	Yawn		Slow Trickle Dive			Die    Dying
I'm tired of all the beautiful people dying	Earth Graves opening/yawning		Heart/souls sighing/crying			Heaving thoughts breaking/binding
I'm tired of sudden news at 4pm on FridaysI'm tired of twisted metal and auto accidentsI'm tired of rape and strangulationAnd long knives in the night of East Texas red october moon
I'm tired I'm so tiredSo tired of all the beautiful people dying

September 18th, 2005 by firearcher

NEVER ENOUGH

the morning sun rises up high to halo the mountain gold
but spreads no gold dust on the valley of desire
the boys wake with buttermilk biscuits
and go out to chop wood for the fire
the house slips sideways
and messages come down the wire

NOT ENOUGH MONEY
SEND MORE MONEY
REPOSSESSION
THREE MONTHS BEHIND
NOT ENOUGH MONEY
SEND MORE MONEY

And the children demand where is Santa Claus?
I want a shiny new bike to ride
Mother my shoes have holes,
my feet hurt
Mother a telescope,
the stars aren’t close enough

Debts tallied in stone buildings of dead eyes,
crammed wall to wall with file cabinets
filled with believable lies
The calls come in

WHEN WILL YOU SEND?
THIS AN ATTEMPT TO COLLECT A DEBT
FURTHER ACTION WILL BE TAKEN

not enough money
never enough money
the ads go out

FAMILY HEIRLOOM
MAKE ME AN OFFER
I HAVE SEVEN SONS WITH GOOD STRONG BACKS
TWO DAUGHTERS WITH FINGERS CALLOUS TO THE NEEDLE
WILL WORK FOR MONEY, FOOD, OR SOCIAL STATUS

mother, please, a typewriter for Christmas.

NOT ENOUGH MONEY
NEVER ENOUGH MONEY

but mother the world sways
This vertigo is unbearable
I feel too much
The stars make me swoon,
I make love to moons,
caress the soft earth with my hips,
and my lips lap at the wine of words

You dream and I ache
Today I want three yards of chiffon,
tomorrow I want to walk with my head held high,
but first my son we must survive.

But mother my dreams.

Dreams we can’t eat.
The world rings to ching a ling ding
ching a ling
And mother goes outside
to shake change from her children’s pockets,
goes outside
to sweat dreams from her children’s eyes,
goes outside
to shake change from her children’s pockets.
Ching a ling ding ching a ling.

Christopher James Weddle ©

18 September 2005

September 18th, 2005 by firearcher

Talking doesn’t have meaning anymore.

Words chase circles around a smoldering sun.

Street lights flicker with the blinking of your estranged eyes;

Conversation is just a chase of lies you inflict in your spleen.

Remorse is the answer for every moment

For every judgment you bring against yourself

For every minute of everything.

You twist and writhe and obscure yourself:

A broken marionette dancing for a song that doesn’t belong

For a prize you only dreamed.

I drift away from your startled fingers.

I was only the illusive symbol of your anything.

15 July 2005- Boise

July 16th, 2005 by firearcher

We went to Old Chicago afterwork as we always do, and I was bored. implosion was imminent. I can’t deal with these social schedules and routines. I really don’t understand how people live by appointments not knowing what their mood will be from day to day. I must drive people crazy by never committing to an event even one day in advance, but my daily mood dicatates my plans. I like the spur of the moment, the spontaneous. i’m impulsive

Metamorphosis

July 5th, 2005 by firearcher
Behold that magenta star, that wobbling star, that quick receding orb space dancing with erratic zip like a child’s kickball leaving the curb with no good bye to taunt taxi’s driven by the fury of speed and mechanical progression. That star, that magenta star that weaves drunkenly in the metaphysical darkness is an old identity shed like skin . And who am I now?
Behold that blue star, that horizon mounting nameless star drifting too lazily for the hunger of my mind. Behold that blue star is coming. It’s so warm. Blue is warm didn’t anyone acquaint you with truths of the the propane flame? That blue star is promise. That blue star is the returning of the awakened mind. Please hurry. Please hurry. I can hardly wait.
This is where I am. I’m on the cusp. My voice turned to ashes long ago. The pen burst and the leaping tendrils of ink dried in air spelling words in code that I couldn’t decipher. I wandered the streets, drank the waste, regurgitated my intellegence. I broke myself on the memories and sealed my soul hermetically. I blew my brains out with words of surrender. I cried into the velvet folds of longing, and I became sick with the void, the unreal, the ether cloud of acceptance.
But I am on the cusp. I’ll remember why I chose to be reborn. Icarus I don’t want these wax wings anymore. Find me Phoenix; I am ready to ride the blue star into the sunlight of the red Arizona mountain where I left the remedy of silence.

03 July 2005-Boise

July 5th, 2005 by firearcher

The night was smoothed with river melodic subliminal tracks.Water rolled stones from the organic random bottom beauty into shapely manadalas and spiritual mosaics. Patricia Brber’s voice kindly seared the space between atoms with liquid calm.

Bigots for Christ

June 26th, 2005 by firearcher

Today I saw this message in a bathroom stall: NUKE GAY COMMUNIST BABY SEALS FOR CHRIST!